A Reflection on National Adoption Month
by Sylvia Palomino
“Are you a believer?” The question came out of nowhere.
I turned around and found a petite Asian woman sitting on the lab table next to me, her head at my level. It was the fall of 1990, my first year of medical school, and as we waited for the prof to arrive, she saw me looking at my mail. I had received a welcome card from a recent church visit.
Pam would soon become my “family” in New York. Ten years older than I am, spunky, full of the love of Jesus, Pam enthusiastically shares Jesus with almost everyone she meets. She is also adopted.
My friendship with Pam opened the wonder of adoption and gave me a fuller understanding of what that means as well as the impact it can have not only in the life of the adoptee, but in the many lives (including mine) that are touched by a family’s choice to be family to one who had none. At the time, I was dating Dan and told him I’d like for us to consider adopting in the future.
Fast forward to 2005. Dan and I had two biological children (ages 5 and 3), a dog, and our own careers. We were BUSY—as many can identify with—yet adopting still felt important to us. We attended information seminars but the process seemed so overwhelming and expensive. (For many reasons we decided that, if we were to adopt, we would pursue an international adoption.) We really didn’t know how we could do this.
Then, around the New Year of 2007, Dan was nearing the age limit for many countries for international adoption. We decided to submit the application and see what would happen. We had no idea how we would be able to afford the projected expenses: at the time $15,000 - $20,000, not including travel. Our mindset was, “If God wants us to adopt, he’ll provide.”
As it turned out, God provided multiple times in many different ways. In 2010, the four of us—kids now 10 and almost 8 (we left the dog at home)—traveled to Thailand and brought home our third child, who was 3 years old at the time.
It has now been a little over 10 years since then. We cherish our family. Adopting has been a huge blessing for us. But, I will not sugar coat it. There are many challenges that come as we navigate trying to process and heal from past traumas. What have I learned? That God has created our hearts and souls with the capacity to experience highs and lows that are beyond our initial comprehension. That he is faithful to meet us in the darkest of times. That living in the tension of sorrow and joy, the now and the not yet, is part of our pilgrimage as we journey faithfully in His kingdom.
I write this because November is National Adoption month. The call to adopt for us was a decades-long journey. Perhaps you have wondered whether this might be for you?
Not everyone is called to adopt yet we are all called to do something to help the orphans. What can you do? Where to start? There are some resources and starting points available on the FOL website.
Back in November 2010, I wrote something on my Facebook page about the feelings and experience of our adoption soon after our daughter joined our family. At FOL we have individuals and families who have fostered and/or adopted so please reach out to us. This community is here to support one another wherever you are in this journey.
“Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.” James 1:27
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:5-6
“Are you a believer?” The question came out of nowhere.
I turned around and found a petite Asian woman sitting on the lab table next to me, her head at my level. It was the fall of 1990, my first year of medical school, and as we waited for the prof to arrive, she saw me looking at my mail. I had received a welcome card from a recent church visit.
Pam would soon become my “family” in New York. Ten years older than I am, spunky, full of the love of Jesus, Pam enthusiastically shares Jesus with almost everyone she meets. She is also adopted.
My friendship with Pam opened the wonder of adoption and gave me a fuller understanding of what that means as well as the impact it can have not only in the life of the adoptee, but in the many lives (including mine) that are touched by a family’s choice to be family to one who had none. At the time, I was dating Dan and told him I’d like for us to consider adopting in the future.
Fast forward to 2005. Dan and I had two biological children (ages 5 and 3), a dog, and our own careers. We were BUSY—as many can identify with—yet adopting still felt important to us. We attended information seminars but the process seemed so overwhelming and expensive. (For many reasons we decided that, if we were to adopt, we would pursue an international adoption.) We really didn’t know how we could do this.
Then, around the New Year of 2007, Dan was nearing the age limit for many countries for international adoption. We decided to submit the application and see what would happen. We had no idea how we would be able to afford the projected expenses: at the time $15,000 - $20,000, not including travel. Our mindset was, “If God wants us to adopt, he’ll provide.”
As it turned out, God provided multiple times in many different ways. In 2010, the four of us—kids now 10 and almost 8 (we left the dog at home)—traveled to Thailand and brought home our third child, who was 3 years old at the time.
It has now been a little over 10 years since then. We cherish our family. Adopting has been a huge blessing for us. But, I will not sugar coat it. There are many challenges that come as we navigate trying to process and heal from past traumas. What have I learned? That God has created our hearts and souls with the capacity to experience highs and lows that are beyond our initial comprehension. That he is faithful to meet us in the darkest of times. That living in the tension of sorrow and joy, the now and the not yet, is part of our pilgrimage as we journey faithfully in His kingdom.
I write this because November is National Adoption month. The call to adopt for us was a decades-long journey. Perhaps you have wondered whether this might be for you?
Not everyone is called to adopt yet we are all called to do something to help the orphans. What can you do? Where to start? There are some resources and starting points available on the FOL website.
Back in November 2010, I wrote something on my Facebook page about the feelings and experience of our adoption soon after our daughter joined our family. At FOL we have individuals and families who have fostered and/or adopted so please reach out to us. This community is here to support one another wherever you are in this journey.
“Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.” James 1:27
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:5-6